lifestyle, Posts, writing

The Pursuit Of Dreams In Ephemeral Times

“Time is all about relativity”.

I recall my high school teacher saying these exact words to the class as he debunked the meanings behind Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland. Moments may whoosh by while there’s a fair share of things to be accomplished in a short amount of time. That wacky White Rabbit was pretty wise in that department.

“Don’t blink or you’ll miss it”, they say. I honestly wish I could do that during certain moments, but it’s not as simple as it sounds. While in some occasions I drag myself through seemingly never-ending days, a few months into that I tell myself “Whoa! Wasn’t that eternal class just yesterday?”.

Not to be a spoilsport, but it’s no secret that each of us has a finite number of days left, a quantity unknown to us, mere mortals. That said, our ultimate goal should be to cultivate every second with love and make sure none goes to waste. To live fearlessly and do whatever brings nothing but authentic happiness.

That sounds a lot like my pre-sleep constructed scenarios. Because it is one of them.

Somewhere outside the fences of a realistic world, my fanciful imagination strives for utter passion, a feeling that should be tirelessly sought before we pass. Because, let’s face it, no one deserves to meet untimely death before a glimpse of what could’ve made them genuinely happy during their brief lifetime.

Even with countless warnings, people are still. They still wait. They hold grudges. They give up. Unsure about future chances and the future itself. I don’t blame them, for it’s natural to humans to feel that way.

But don’t get discouraged.

Whatever blocks your way might as well serve as a step.

That’s why I’ve been a fan of video games for so long. Because the fuel to the fire is the so dreaded hardship. Frustration is what sets the ball rolling, and what makes achievements so savory. Good thing is, I can shut it down when I get bored. On the other hand, I can’t press pause on an icky day.

Sad to say, life isn’t a psychedelic forest with a dinosaur for a horse, my friends. In fact, it oftentimes feels and appears like the toughest of worlds. Without the handy tricks, of course.

We’re controlled by social norms. We must pay bills and take care of ourselves with money that, more often than not, is originated from despised labor, and it may not even be enough. It’s way too risky to just hop out of a job that assists one’s living for the sole fact that they don’t resonate with it. Sure, it’s what mostly everyone feels like doing after scrolling through a motivational blog post, yet anyone who’s been left to their own devices knows it’s a wee bit more complicated than that.

Truth is, people are being relatively smart with their time. The majority of them wants to make sure they’ll live long enough to get married, watch their children grow and grow old themselves, even if that means earning their crust off something other than a dream. The said “dream”, however, could be exactly coming home to their kids’ embrace with bags of groceries after a 9-to-5 shift.

An artist may fight tooth and nail for their wildest ambitions and return to an empty flat at the end of the day, but that could be heaven to their introversion, perhaps. As well as a traditional family may seem void of troubles in the eyes of others, yet be far from the excellence they strove for in the beginning.

Living a dream is a matter of taste and individuality.

I had a serious pep-talk with my boyfriend the other day. A couple days before, I had already noticed a slight moroseness in his attitude.

“I feel like I’m wasting my time”, he told me. “I think of all the things I could be doing and I’m not, then I feel useless.”

By that, he means things such as writing a book, becoming the top of the class, and maybe even skydiving. All at once. His anxiety had reached a peak where he wanted to rush even what requires an overwhelming amount of patience.

That was something I could relate to. Both of us have a tendency to compare our journey to those of other people of varied experiences and accomplishments, which is mentally unhealthy. Time rushes by, that’s a fact, but stacking up our time with empty pursuits so as to attain some kind of illusory productivity…it doesn’t sound like the best way to live, does it?

Therefore, I exemplified to him what was on my mind:

Suppose you have a week left on this earth. You could load your bucket-list with a variety of random wishes, but which of them would really stand out among all the others? Which of them would be worth ticking off?

Then, I told him to sit back and ponder for a good thirty minutes. It’s been a while since he complained about that issue.

Most importantly, though, fulfilling a passion it’s a matter of choice.

There’s a reason I chose writing as a daily activity – it could have chosen me as well, who knows. I’m passionate about it, simple as that. While I’ve been doing credit to this craft out of sheer pleasure, I do visualize it as a professional occupation in the near future. Until then, I can only keep on writing.

I do it in spite of my necessary studies and other commitments, aware that I might have to sacrifice many hours for it. Hours that could be dedicated to innumerable interests, yet I’ve chosen to write regardless. I owe this willpower to my incessant desire for creation and encouragement of others. I feel there’s no point to existence when it’s restricted to one’s selfishness.

With that in mind, whenever I mention “passion” and related words, I mean any meaningful experience to anyone’s fleet lifespan. It’s true that our needs might not be met entirely in this particular journey, but still, that’s exactly why priorities exist. Finally, we must remind ourselves of our ignorance facing such a mysterious vastness, after all, this passage could be one among many others.

When in doubt, make time for what makes you want to stay alive.

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